Dangerous Burps
by mo person
Summary: Sequel to Danger is my Middle Name. Tony should have seen this coming. What with his son crawling through vents to drop vases on his father's head to see if he would Hulk out... Maybe naming him Philip Danger Stark Banner was not such a good idea. Especially if someone gets shot! OMEGAVERSE OMEGA!TONY ALPHA!BRUCE OMEGA!CLINT Scienceboyfriends and shieldboyfriends MPREG AND SLASH


Never let it be said that giving your child a certain name will not affect his or her personality. Because it does. And the avengers have had first hand experience in that matter.

For instance, take the day when Tony and Bruce's son decided to try and anger his father, just to see if he would Hulk out;

* * *

"Philip Danger Stark Banner! Don't you _dare _drop that vase on your father! Do you want to invite death upon yourself!?" Steve Rogers, Captain America and resident mother hen, screamed.

The five year old boy froze. The vase he was gripping was slowly sliding down due to his sweat and gravity. He had learned how to navigate the vents and rafters from his uncle Clint, and the boy had a curiosity and scientific mind set to rival his mother. Experimentation had been his method of choice whenever he wanted to find an answer for his questions. So naturally, crawling through the vents with his auntie Tasha's least favorite vase to drop onto his father's head while said father was concentrating on his nuclear and gamma research was the only way to gauge the extent to which he could agitate his father before he lost control. Naturally.

"But... But... But I need to see!" Philip whined, gripping the vase harder. His father had long since moved away from the danger zone to look sternly at his son.

"Philip. I understand that you want to find out more things about the Hulk, and that you think that the only way to do it would be behind my back. But please at least speak to your mother before you try things like these. He would have found a safer way for you to agitate me. The Hulk is taller than the vents, sweetheart, he would crush those first." Bruce was calm and collected as he said all of this. "You have my permission to gather information on the Hulk, but please do so in a safe environment and when the hulk would be most serene, and in a generally chatty mood, alright?"

"Okay Daddy! Thanks!" Philip disappeared up into the vents and slithered away while Steve stared at Bruce with wide, unbelieving eyes.

"If I tell him to stop then he'll try it again. Trust me. The last time he tried to sneak into our room during Tony's heat and I told him to stop, it took him five minutes to pick the lock again." Bruce said as he resumed his work.

"I can't handle this." Steve murmured as he left Bruce to his work. "This is nuts!"

* * *

Danger obviously is not an appropriate middle name for a child. He or she will exploit it to their greatest advantage. And when that child has access to his mother's lab, well hijinks are guaranteed to ensue.

* * *

"Bruce, where is my Iron Man Armor?" Tony asked as he rubbed his pregnant belly. He was six months along with the couple's second child. "I swear I left it in the display case."

"I saw JARVIS do it. It should be in the case." Bruce rushed to Tony's side, tilting his head in confusion. He display case was empty.

"JARVIS, where is the suit?" Tony asked.

"Your son has taken it, modified it to accommodate for his size and has flown to Mexico, sir." Came the dry reply.

"Please tell me you're being sarcastic..." Tony whimpered.

"I would have informed you, sir, but you gave me strict orders to stay quiet and master Philip asked me to keep this a secret." JARVIS replied. "Besides, you have not programmed me to be sarcastic."

"Bruce, my baby is in my Iron Man suit and is flying over Mexico. _Philip is flying __**over Mexico!"**_ Tony hissed. "JARVIS! Call an avengers team meeting. Code Fuchsia!"

Code Fuschia was the name that the group labeled any emergency that was dire, but shouldn't ever be repeated or told to Director Fury. They had gone on dozens of non-shield missions over the years.

The entire group assembled in battle gear, only to see a frantic Tony and Bruce.

"What happened?" Clint asked. His daughter was clutching his leg, sucking her thumb. His own small baby bump was barely visible underneath his loose shirt and sweat pants.

"Philip committed grand theft Iron Man!" Tony sobbed."He's taken the suit, modified it, which is amazing and I'm damn proud of him for managing to circumvent the circuitry and have empty spaces in the suit without it overheating or super cooling instantly... But He's already in Mexico and I can't go because I'm pregnant and you all owe me! So go and bring back my baby!"

Steve dropped to the floor in a dead faint. Natasha was gaping. Thor was quiet and Clint was clutching his daughter so tightly that she was trying to dislodge herself from her mother's grasp.

"Seriously!?" Natasha broke the silence.

"Yes! Now go before he kills himself!" Tony pleaded. His voice wavered and his eyes had already been red from crying. His face was a mess of dihydrogen monoxide nearly saturated with sodium chloride. (H2O+NaCl)

"Well Shit." Natasha said as she moved to the elevator. Thor followed her silently, still utterly confused and quite honestly speechless. Steve was still sprawled on the floor, shocked into unconsciousness.

It took the Natasha and Thor three hours to track Philip down. He was using his father's identity and voice encryption technology to buy himself fifty gallons of ice cream and seventy pounds of cake from a supermarket. The locals were enthralled by 'Iron Man' and were snapping pictures and gossiping wildly. Natasha almost laughed at the cashier's plight to try and inform 'Tony Stark' that they didn't have that much ice cream or cake in stock.

"I don't care what other things you have here. I need mint ice cream and chocolate cake! I flew here from New York City! I don't have time to waste, my son needs to be picked up from school in an hour!" Natasha and Thor were sincerely impressed. Not only was the voice encryption impeccable, Philip even had his mother's snark and arrogance!

"I am sorry, sir!" The cashier's thick accent made him difficult to understand, but Natasha had heard worse. "We do not have that!"

"Philip Danger son of Stark and Banner!" Thor hollered. Philip jumped in the suit, the metal clanking against the tiled flooring. "Your mother and father are worried sick of you! We must return to the tower immediately! Your mother is terribly distraught!"

"Is he really?" Tony's voice replied through the suit's filters.

"Yes, Philip. Now let's go before your uncle Steve has a brain aneurysm." Natasha said.

The three of them returned six hours after Tony had discovered the suit missing. Tony gathered Philip in his arms and squeezed him so tightly. Bruce squeezed him also.

"What the heck were you thinking!?" Tony asked.

"Director Fury said that we shouldn't go to a team party in Mexico with ice cream and chocolate cake, so I inferred that Mexico must be the proverbial land of ice cream and chocolate cake." Philip explained, his seven year old body being crushed by his worried parents. "Besides, I was hungry and you've been having lots of cravings, mommy. I wanted to make sure that you had all the food that you need for the rest of my little brother's gestational period. I think he should have lots cake and ice cream. Don't you?"

"You are in so much trouble, little man." Bruce said sternly. "But your mother and I are suitably impressed by your ingenuity and talent. But you're still in trouble."

"But!"

"No buts, Mr. Iron Man!" Tony chastised.

"But!"

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that was!?"

Philip's hazel eyes glinted with mischief. "But daddy, Danger is my middle name!"

Tony, in that moment, realized what a reckless and stupid thing it was to name his son Danger.

"I'm sorry, Bruce. I should have listened..." Tony whimpered.

* * *

And it didn't end there. Year after year would see Philip disappear or put himself on top of the Empire State Building, or manage to bypass the bifrost and free Loki, which was anti-climactic in and of itself because Loki, as it turned out, was being mind controlled the entire time! He broke down in tears over the entire ordeal and vowed never to allow such vile creatures to manipulate him like that again. It was interesting to see a ten year old budding Alpha with a centuries old Omega bickering over the circumstances of said Omega's capture.

Then, as Tony had just given birth to Philip's second younger sibling and the third child in total, Philip decided to try his biggest stunt to date.

The one that would make his parents legally change his name.

* * *

"Uncle Clint, do you have any advice for young aspiring trapeze flyers like myself?" A thirteen year old Philip asked.

"What do you mean?" Clint was reclining in a squishy sofa, resting his back as his twins summer-saulted in his belly. "I don't want you exploiting your namesake again. It really does hurt your parents, you know?"

"I know. But I swear, this is the last one. And I can't get hurt because there'll be a safety net!" Philip perused. "PLUS, there might be something in it for you."

"What's in it for me?" Clint raised his eyebrow. This wasn't looking good.

"A free backrub and I'll take your kitchen duty for the month." Philip knew just how to con. "and let's throw in a joy ride in my mom's porsche?"

"Boy, you drive a hard bargain, but I accept!" Clint grinned devilishly.

The two worked for weeks. By the end of the second month, the stunt was set and Philip was ready. But too bad Philip didn't see the anti-shield assassin and the sniper rifle until it was too late.

Three gun shot wounds. He was in a coma for three months. Tony didn't leave his bedside. He cried hysterically when he got the call. The rigging was still blocking the road when the shots were fired.

But it wasn't Philip who was shot. No. It was Bruce. The man was supervising his son's last stunt. A simple trapeze trick, with a harness and a safety net. Bruce and Tony had known about it and Clint had even gotten his old circus friends to help Philip with the rigging. But the assassin had targeted Bruce with some alien compound that even Tony had never even heard of.

It was an element that didn't exist in their realm. But Bruce had gone down, bleeding from the wounds and everyone was confused as to why he hadn't Hulked out.

Hulkium.

That's what they were calling it.

The only heavy metal that could take down the hulk. But no one knew what it would do to Bruce. Hulkium fluoride. HkF. Tony hated that compound with a vengeance.

But finally, Finally, Bruce blinked his eyes open. He groaned in discomfort.

"Bruce! Bruce?" Tony's worried voice clouded his brain. "Oh god Bruce!"

And wet face pressed against his cheek and many many hands were touching him. The Hulk was surprisingly serene, he was just lurking in the back of Bruce's mind, calmer, less volatile.

Philip, Peter and Penelope were all pawing at him, Tony was draped over his body. Penelope, his littlest daughter, was sitting by his leg and propped up to look at her father. Peter, at three years old and Bruce's only Omega child, was crying and clutching at his arms and chest, babbling about how 'A-scared' he was. Then Philip, his oldest boy, was bawling. He was blubbering about how sorry he was and if he had just listened to him when he had the chance-

"I'm fine, everyone. Don't worry about me." Bruce rasped. "I just need to see my family smiling again. So get me some food and then we'll talk because if my stomach doesn't eat me first, the Hulk will."

Tony and Philip laughed at that, wiping tears away with their sleeves. Little Peter didn't understand the joke, but calmed down to sniffles.

"I'm serious. I'm so hungry I think I might hurl."

"Daddy, I'm so glad you're back! Don't ever leave us again okay?" Philip asked. He dropped down to hug his father's neck tightly.

"Well, I'll look for bulletproof Hulk vests, how about that?"

* * *

The moral of the story is, be careful what you call someone. It might get you shot.

* * *

**MOAR OMEGAVERSE! Whoooo. Worship me. All of this was written on a touch screen tablet. (PlayBook) all of my fanfictions as of late have been typed out by thumb. All of them except my oldest three. **

**Ya, I've got thumbs of steel! An iron alloy! **

**Ps. For those of you who are confused over dihydrogen monoxide and sodium chloride, well that's just water and salt... Salty tears, basically. I'm really good at chemistry okay!?**


End file.
